It's been a test of a week. I tried to negotiate a peaceful solution to the conflict in my flat, but really I think I've just been spit in the face by my approach of fairness. It turns out I've been paying my share of rent and expenses only to find that this has been used to pay minor bills that aren't in my name while over $600 has been run up in my name with electricity and a $290 phone bill. I tried ringing the phone company on Friday night to get toll calls suspended only to find out it's been done by default and that the collections department will contact me this week.

This really means I've spent a 60 hour week paying for my flat mates utilities. A is for awesome. I think I might just cut it off completely on Monday and bite the bullet and front up the cash. I really want to take my flatmate to court, I want to know what she's done with the money she's been entrusted to pay bills with.

I've also heard no news on the job front, but then again that's not surprising as I'm sure I'm putting applications into a black hole never to be heard from again. This of course still leaves me clinging to my temporary solution which has an unknown length to it as it stands. Already the main season is over and I feel on borrowed time.

At this point I'm over Wellington and am giving it till the end of the month. And if I take away Wellington there isn't too many places in New Zealand I really want to be.

So I guess I should just make one final stand with a massive application send off but I just can't do it. I read the job descriptions and I'm either over qualified or lack experience. It really feels a futile exercise and I can feel myself starting to rot on the inside, all I feel like doing now is going to sleep, I seriously would go to sleep by 7:30 every night if I wasn't going to wake up at some stupidly early hour in the morning. I still can't work out if the big mistake was going to university or leaving it.

Fuck I'm jaded right now.